No cards or mix cd’s were sent this year to friends. To those who were disappointed, I am deeply sorry.

For some reason, this year I just haven’t had time to do the little things. I’m still behind on work and at this point I’m completely burnt out. I’m tired and I just want to make it through this holiday in one piece. 

But that shouldn’t be my attitude. As I spend today working and doing last minute Christmas shopping, I think how I would give anything for this season to not be about the hustle and bustle. 

I went to “Christmas Eve” service this morning alone. And as we stood there singing “Silent Night” with our candles lit, for the first time I had that moment of feeling like everything actually is right in the world. But then the song ended and we blew out our candles. And back to my schedule… trying to meet deadlines and crossing things off my list. What I wouldn’t give for my very own silent night. No texts messages, emails, phone calls… just a  night of rest.

I’ll be real honest, 2012 got the best of me this year. It’s slightly a miracle I made it… but actually there are still a few more days left that could lead to my demise. But maybe for one day, everyone that feels broken and tired, will find some peace. That is my prayer for everyone. As we get older, this season tends to lose its beauty. Maybe because as the years go by, we generally just lose things… loved ones, jobs, dreams, goals, faith. 

I read a quote from a book a few days ago that said,

“There are moments in this season when I don’t feel a lot like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent.”

That’s how I feel. I don’t feel like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent. Because really the anticipation and hope of a Savior is something I need to believe in. Knowing that even when things don’t make sense, I still can be filled with Advent. 

Merry Christmas. Be filled with every aspect of Advent. And know that you are loved. 

I will leave you with one of my most recent favorite Christmas songs: Evermore

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. 

Yeah… it does and sometimes you have to learn how to keep up. Thank you Noah and the Whale for teaching me how to spell and reaffirming the fact that life does in fact go on and that it’s important to have heart! 

I had every intention of working at Crooked Tree all day again today, but after attempting 3 hours of freelance work and downing a semi-ok latte, I realized that no matter how much I want to drown myself in work or go out and attempt to have the time of my life, sometimes you just have to deal. Therefore, I packed up my shiz, drove down to the BAD to get me some chocolate and a better cup of coffee to reflect on the bittersweetness of life. 

Change is inevitable and consequently, this week/month has been full of it. So we’re always moving forward and progressing… even when it feels like you’re at a stand still, or if like me, you feel like you have taken a hundred steps backwards. Sometimes it’s disguised as confusion, failure, heartbreak, brokenness, etc. 

But here’s the funny thing, as much as you try to run away, ignore, or burry it all inside… you eventually have to face yourself and deal. I make a lot of mistakes and I’m pretty good at falling on my face. However, today an old friend told me that I am wise. He also informed me that he could tell that I’ve changed a lot and it’s for the better. It’s ironic and endearing because of the circumstances and how lately I feel like I haven’t really been showing my best side. His words might have been the encouragement I needed.

I am thankful for people who are willing to listen and share their heart with me. I’m also thankful for people who will cry and laugh with me too. It seems like so many people I know are hurting… and I hurt for them. But at least we can lend each other shoulders to lean and cry on. Yes, I have cried a river this week. I’m not ashamed! Typically I laugh so I don’t cry, but now I just do both. Apparently you can be happy and sad at the same time.

I’m a little lost and overwhelmed by life right now, and it’s hard for me to keep up. Although I’m not 100% content with it all, I’m trying my best to appreciate the little things and the people who open my eyes and heart to greater things :) 

And sooner or later I’ll have some decent designs or other artwork to share. I just need to play catch up for a bit! I have more freelance work than I every thought possible, which is a sweet answer to prayer. I think right now I just need to refocus and find a good balance between it all. Something I’m never good at… and sorry for the long, dramatic post about my crazy life. I’ll try to keep it short and sweet next time… and more art/design related! For now… just admire my pretty latte! Drinking it made my heart happy! 

Life is not just a snapshot…

I wish I had some fresh personal work to share, but currently I’m just trying to stay afloat with the chaos of LIFE… and I’m actually taking a break from working on freelance stuff right now. So, I resort to an instagram photo collage. A simple compilation of what I’ve been doing over the past few months… my season of wandering, waiting, and making the most of what I’ve been handed. And there’s a much bigger picture that I may not see right now, but I’m sure it’s going to be revealed sooner or later. (Yeah… I sound like a walking self help book)

My goal is to one day not be freelancing on the side… not because of the income issue, but because I want my day job to be fulfilling enough that I don’t need to freelance. Currently freelance work is all I have to really hang my hat on. And that’s why all nighters are worth it. It’s what I love… even when I’m frustrated, tired, and sick from all the caffeine I’ve consumed… every hour of sleep lost just means I can sleep happy and fulfilled the next night :) 

I’m hoping I never lose my edge… or give up on my dreams. Luckily I have some pretty amazing people in my life who keep me on the right track and love me despite my bad days (weeks… months). A big thank you to all of them! I don’t think I tell them that enough. 

Ok… now to go down an energy drink and get these projects out! I live for nights like these and short deadlines! I will sleep when I’m dead! PEACE! 

“Wherever you go, there you are.” —-> That seems to make a lot of sense. Simple. Rational. Honest. True. 

To be completely honest, I’d rather be anywhere than in the certain situation I am currently residing in. Not ideal. Not what I imagined. Not what I want. But yet… I am here. And slightly stuck. Limbo sucks. Being patient sucks. Not feeling like you have any control sucks. But all these things are inevitable in life. So I’m learning to deal with this season and accept it for what it is… even when I don’t know what it is exactly.

Currently I’m sitting in my cozy little corner at Crooked Tree (ironically the coffee pictured above is from Oddfellows) and I’m listening to Imagine Dragons. This is probably one of my favorite spots to sit… maybe because in this corner I’ve experienced a lot. And for now I’m here, just living the life that I have. 

Where red meets blue meets green… An ode to public transportation in downtown Dallas. 

It’s funny where and when you find creative inspiration. 

I started off tonight just needing a break, so I decided to get out my paints. At first I was painting a typical rose, but I decided to take a different approach. After checking out an exhibit at Life in Deep Ellum last weekend, I thought I would test out unprimed canvas. And because splatter paint is fun and a good release, that was my chosen method of painting (thank you Mark for the inspiration). 

So after making a mess, I then took some photos and combined that with some typography and a skyline view of downtown. 

If you’ve every ridden the Dart around town, you are probably familiar with the different stations and what color line you need to be on. Anyways, I thought the combination of the colors was a good representation of where the Red Line, Blue Line & Green Line all meet up in downtown. 

I should have been working on reworking my resume instead of playing tonight, but ultimately, I just want to make art and hopefully someone will recognize that and want to hire me! I’m just trying to stay creative and positive… some days are better than others. We’ll see… I know God has a great sense of humor, so who knows where I’ll end up! 

I’ve been a brief hiatus from my tumblr due to the fact that I just haven’t been feeling very creative over the past 6 weeks due to circumstances called LIFE! 

Things seem to be slightly a mess right now, in which I say, “C’est la vie!” This has kind of been my saying when things just don’t go the way I planned. Unfortunately, as of lately when I use this phrase, there’s usually tears followed by it because it’s my way of admitting that I feel defeated. But nonetheless, I still love this saying. 

I’ve had a lot of conversations about life lately. So many people have different views. There are the optimists, the pessimists, the realists, the dreamers, the encouragers, the older and wiser adults, the people who give Sunday school answers, and the friends who don’t even say anything, but know exactly what you feel and will cry with you in a back stairwell at church when life gets the best of you. And to all of these people, thank you. Even when I don’t believe what you say or don’t say. Even when your words scare the hell out of me. THANK YOU! I don’t know how some of you put up with me when I have my bad days. You are the people who get me through each moment. 

So I dedicate my little piece of artwork above to all of you. Made with all the creativity that I could somehow find in the midst of feeling talentless, unartistic, and just a hot mess. And such is life… but there’s more to life than a job, a paycheck, a title. There’s still some creativity within me… and I’m going to keep fighting to find it. I may officially be a starving artist now… which is ultimately the idealized dream I had, but it didn’t involve living at home with the parentals, eating Spaghetti O’s daily, and applying to 20+ jobs a day that I find online. Haha! I kinda thought it would involve backpacking across Europe and sketching sunrises and sunsets. Yeah… C’est la vie! 

So on that note… If you need any design work or know of good job leads, think of me! #shamelessselfpromotion 

Happy National Sibling Day!!!!

To my brothers and my sister, thanks for always loving me and taking extra good care of me through out the years! I love y’all! 

I wasn’t their sister by birth, but that doesn’t change anything at all. I think we all often forget I am adopted, which is funny, but true. I can’t imagine any other life or growing up any other way. Our house was always crazy and entertaining for the most part.

So as I continue this process of becoming an adult, I’m glad I can always look to the three of them for advice, encouragement, and love along the way. They’ve always been pretty good at paving the way for me. I guess no matter how old I get, I will always be their baby sister :) 

(Photo taken in Cozymel for Amy and Jeremy’s wedding 2008)  

(Side note: I’m totally slacking on my posts… I’m not sure where all my time goes these days.)