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08

Jan

An unexamined life is not worth living. - Socrates

Wise words to live by. But of course, philosophers tend to have plenty of wise words to enlighten those of the world both past and present. 

So, of course with a new year, we all tend to examine our lives. We take in the past and look towards the future. Sometimes with regret, sometimes with hope, and sometimes with confusion. Resolutions have never been my thing… even making them is hard for me.

2012 was rough to say the least, but at the same time, I don’t have any huge regrets (other than not finding my passport when some really awesome guy wanted to whisk me away to Costa Rica… yeah… #epicfail) 

I guess this could be a resolution for the year. I want to be better at maintaining a good balance between my work life and my personal life. I pretty much sucked at that last year/maybe still am sucking at it. My friend (the awesome guy), sent me a link to a blog entry about this very subject that definitely made me think. (Read it here) I cried a little not just because of the story of him losing his dear friend, but also because I realized I was becoming that sad, anxious, stressed, allusive friend/sister/aunt/daughter/etc. I don’t want to miss out on the important things in life or take for granted the ones I care the most about because I’m too busy working.

I want to be successful. I want to create. I want to do something I love and share my talent with others. I want to believe in good work that I can truly invest in. But I don’t want to lose myself in the process. 

I think I got really good at justifying being a workaholic. I could always use the money and it’s always nice to add to the portfolio. Friends seem to understand at first, especially one in particular. I think he tends to believe in my “business” more than I do at times. Or maybe he just believes in me. He’s probably one of the most successful and hard working 20-somethings I know. And I’m lucky enough to have him in my life to not only enlighten me on business and success, but also to encourage and just take good care of me. And because of all those wonderful things, he has put up with me checking my email, listening to me vent, fixing my computer problems, making my business model, waiting patiently to eat or overlooking my tardiness because I’m working. So a big thank you to him for everything he has done and everything he continues to do keep me sane. I know it probably takes a lot to put up with me sometimes. He even reminds of how necessary it is to take a break… (he may not see this because he’s not an avid follower… oh, wait… I don’t really have avid followers???) 

With that said, I want to say no to side projects more often… especially when I can’t handle the work load. It’s not fair to clients to not get my best work and it’s not fair to the people who have to put up with me when I’m drained (I get cranky and anxious a lot). I want to invest in people and things I believe in. I probably gain more from those things than an actual paycheck. I already have more than enough to be thankful for, so it’s time to appreciate everything… even when I feel like I’m failing. I think I’m starting to see my potential in a different way. 

I hope when you examine your life, you have something to hold onto more than just a job or a paycheck. I hope you have invested in people, a talent that you can share, or just anything that makes you truly happy. I also hope that you stop and smell the roses sometimes, dance like nobody is watching, and plenty of other awesome cliches that really are worthy of bringing to life! Life is better cheesy! 

(This was long… but I guess that’s what happens when you exceed your caffeine intake for the day and you ignore Tumblr.) 

23

Dec

No cards or mix cd’s were sent this year to friends. To those who were disappointed, I am deeply sorry.
For some reason, this year I just haven’t had time to do the little things. I’m still behind on work and at this point I’m completely burnt out. I’m tired and I just want to make it through this holiday in one piece. 
But that shouldn’t be my attitude. As I spend today working and doing last minute Christmas shopping, I think how I would give anything for this season to not be about the hustle and bustle. 
I went to “Christmas Eve” service this morning alone. And as we stood there singing “Silent Night” with our candles lit, for the first time I had that moment of feeling like everything actually is right in the world. But then the song ended and we blew out our candles. And back to my schedule… trying to meet deadlines and crossing things off my list. What I wouldn’t give for my very own silent night. No texts messages, emails, phone calls… just a  night of rest.
I’ll be real honest, 2012 got the best of me this year. It’s slightly a miracle I made it… but actually there are still a few more days left that could lead to my demise. But maybe for one day, everyone that feels broken and tired, will find some peace. That is my prayer for everyone. As we get older, this season tends to lose its beauty. Maybe because as the years go by, we generally just lose things… loved ones, jobs, dreams, goals, faith. 
I read a quote from a book a few days ago that said,



"There are moments in this season when I don’t feel a lot like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent."



That’s how I feel. I don’t feel like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent. Because really the anticipation and hope of a Savior is something I need to believe in. Knowing that even when things don’t make sense, I still can be filled with Advent. 
Merry Christmas. Be filled with every aspect of Advent. And know that you are loved. 
I will leave you with one of my most recent favorite Christmas songs: Evermore

No cards or mix cd’s were sent this year to friends. To those who were disappointed, I am deeply sorry.

For some reason, this year I just haven’t had time to do the little things. I’m still behind on work and at this point I’m completely burnt out. I’m tired and I just want to make it through this holiday in one piece. 

But that shouldn’t be my attitude. As I spend today working and doing last minute Christmas shopping, I think how I would give anything for this season to not be about the hustle and bustle. 

I went to “Christmas Eve” service this morning alone. And as we stood there singing “Silent Night” with our candles lit, for the first time I had that moment of feeling like everything actually is right in the world. But then the song ended and we blew out our candles. And back to my schedule… trying to meet deadlines and crossing things off my list. What I wouldn’t give for my very own silent night. No texts messages, emails, phone calls… just a  night of rest.

I’ll be real honest, 2012 got the best of me this year. It’s slightly a miracle I made it… but actually there are still a few more days left that could lead to my demise. But maybe for one day, everyone that feels broken and tired, will find some peace. That is my prayer for everyone. As we get older, this season tends to lose its beauty. Maybe because as the years go by, we generally just lose things… loved ones, jobs, dreams, goals, faith. 

I read a quote from a book a few days ago that said,

"There are moments in this season when I don’t feel a lot like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent."

That’s how I feel. I don’t feel like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent. Because really the anticipation and hope of a Savior is something I need to believe in. Knowing that even when things don’t make sense, I still can be filled with Advent. 

Merry Christmas. Be filled with every aspect of Advent. And know that you are loved. 

I will leave you with one of my most recent favorite Christmas songs: Evermore

19

Aug

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. 
Yeah… it does and sometimes you have to learn how to keep up. Thank you Noah and the Whale for teaching me how to spell and reaffirming the fact that life does in fact go on and that it’s important to have heart! 
I had every intention of working at Crooked Tree all day again today, but after attempting 3 hours of freelance work and downing a semi-ok latte, I realized that no matter how much I want to drown myself in work or go out and attempt to have the time of my life, sometimes you just have to deal. Therefore, I packed up my shiz, drove down to the BAD to get me some chocolate and a better cup of coffee to reflect on the bittersweetness of life. 
Change is inevitable and consequently, this week/month has been full of it. So we’re always moving forward and progressing… even when it feels like you’re at a stand still, or if like me, you feel like you have taken a hundred steps backwards. Sometimes it’s disguised as confusion, failure, heartbreak, brokenness, etc. 
But here’s the funny thing, as much as you try to run away, ignore, or burry it all inside… you eventually have to face yourself and deal. I make a lot of mistakes and I’m pretty good at falling on my face. However, today an old friend told me that I am wise. He also informed me that he could tell that I’ve changed a lot and it’s for the better. It’s ironic and endearing because of the circumstances and how lately I feel like I haven’t really been showing my best side. His words might have been the encouragement I needed.
I am thankful for people who are willing to listen and share their heart with me. I’m also thankful for people who will cry and laugh with me too. It seems like so many people I know are hurting… and I hurt for them. But at least we can lend each other shoulders to lean and cry on. Yes, I have cried a river this week. I’m not ashamed! Typically I laugh so I don’t cry, but now I just do both. Apparently you can be happy and sad at the same time.
I’m a little lost and overwhelmed by life right now, and it’s hard for me to keep up. Although I’m not 100% content with it all, I’m trying my best to appreciate the little things and the people who open my eyes and heart to greater things :) 
And sooner or later I’ll have some decent designs or other artwork to share. I just need to play catch up for a bit! I have more freelance work than I every thought possible, which is a sweet answer to prayer. I think right now I just need to refocus and find a good balance between it all. Something I’m never good at… and sorry for the long, dramatic post about my crazy life. I’ll try to keep it short and sweet next time… and more art/design related! For now… just admire my pretty latte! Drinking it made my heart happy! 

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. 

Yeah… it does and sometimes you have to learn how to keep up. Thank you Noah and the Whale for teaching me how to spell and reaffirming the fact that life does in fact go on and that it’s important to have heart! 

I had every intention of working at Crooked Tree all day again today, but after attempting 3 hours of freelance work and downing a semi-ok latte, I realized that no matter how much I want to drown myself in work or go out and attempt to have the time of my life, sometimes you just have to deal. Therefore, I packed up my shiz, drove down to the BAD to get me some chocolate and a better cup of coffee to reflect on the bittersweetness of life. 

Change is inevitable and consequently, this week/month has been full of it. So we’re always moving forward and progressing… even when it feels like you’re at a stand still, or if like me, you feel like you have taken a hundred steps backwards. Sometimes it’s disguised as confusion, failure, heartbreak, brokenness, etc. 

But here’s the funny thing, as much as you try to run away, ignore, or burry it all inside… you eventually have to face yourself and deal. I make a lot of mistakes and I’m pretty good at falling on my face. However, today an old friend told me that I am wise. He also informed me that he could tell that I’ve changed a lot and it’s for the better. It’s ironic and endearing because of the circumstances and how lately I feel like I haven’t really been showing my best side. His words might have been the encouragement I needed.

I am thankful for people who are willing to listen and share their heart with me. I’m also thankful for people who will cry and laugh with me too. It seems like so many people I know are hurting… and I hurt for them. But at least we can lend each other shoulders to lean and cry on. Yes, I have cried a river this week. I’m not ashamed! Typically I laugh so I don’t cry, but now I just do both. Apparently you can be happy and sad at the same time.

I’m a little lost and overwhelmed by life right now, and it’s hard for me to keep up. Although I’m not 100% content with it all, I’m trying my best to appreciate the little things and the people who open my eyes and heart to greater things :) 

And sooner or later I’ll have some decent designs or other artwork to share. I just need to play catch up for a bit! I have more freelance work than I every thought possible, which is a sweet answer to prayer. I think right now I just need to refocus and find a good balance between it all. Something I’m never good at… and sorry for the long, dramatic post about my crazy life. I’ll try to keep it short and sweet next time… and more art/design related! For now… just admire my pretty latte! Drinking it made my heart happy! 

01

Aug

Life is not just a snapshot…
I wish I had some fresh personal work to share, but currently I’m just trying to stay afloat with the chaos of LIFE… and I’m actually taking a break from working on freelance stuff right now. So, I resort to an instagram photo collage. A simple compilation of what I’ve been doing over the past few months… my season of wandering, waiting, and making the most of what I’ve been handed. And there’s a much bigger picture that I may not see right now, but I’m sure it’s going to be revealed sooner or later. (Yeah… I sound like a walking self help book)
My goal is to one day not be freelancing on the side… not because of the income issue, but because I want my day job to be fulfilling enough that I don’t need to freelance. Currently freelance work is all I have to really hang my hat on. And that’s why all nighters are worth it. It’s what I love… even when I’m frustrated, tired, and sick from all the caffeine I’ve consumed… every hour of sleep lost just means I can sleep happy and fulfilled the next night :) 
I’m hoping I never lose my edge… or give up on my dreams. Luckily I have some pretty amazing people in my life who keep me on the right track and love me despite my bad days (weeks… months). A big thank you to all of them! I don’t think I tell them that enough. 
Ok… now to go down an energy drink and get these projects out! I live for nights like these and short deadlines! I will sleep when I’m dead! PEACE! 

Life is not just a snapshot…

I wish I had some fresh personal work to share, but currently I’m just trying to stay afloat with the chaos of LIFE… and I’m actually taking a break from working on freelance stuff right now. So, I resort to an instagram photo collage. A simple compilation of what I’ve been doing over the past few months… my season of wandering, waiting, and making the most of what I’ve been handed. And there’s a much bigger picture that I may not see right now, but I’m sure it’s going to be revealed sooner or later. (Yeah… I sound like a walking self help book)

My goal is to one day not be freelancing on the side… not because of the income issue, but because I want my day job to be fulfilling enough that I don’t need to freelance. Currently freelance work is all I have to really hang my hat on. And that’s why all nighters are worth it. It’s what I love… even when I’m frustrated, tired, and sick from all the caffeine I’ve consumed… every hour of sleep lost just means I can sleep happy and fulfilled the next night :) 

I’m hoping I never lose my edge… or give up on my dreams. Luckily I have some pretty amazing people in my life who keep me on the right track and love me despite my bad days (weeks… months). A big thank you to all of them! I don’t think I tell them that enough. 

Ok… now to go down an energy drink and get these projects out! I live for nights like these and short deadlines! I will sleep when I’m dead! PEACE! 

08

Jul

"Wherever you go, there you are." —-> That seems to make a lot of sense. Simple. Rational. Honest. True. 
To be completely honest, I’d rather be anywhere than in the certain situation I am currently residing in. Not ideal. Not what I imagined. Not what I want. But yet… I am here. And slightly stuck. Limbo sucks. Being patient sucks. Not feeling like you have any control sucks. But all these things are inevitable in life. So I’m learning to deal with this season and accept it for what it is… even when I don’t know what it is exactly.
Currently I’m sitting in my cozy little corner at Crooked Tree (ironically the coffee pictured above is from Oddfellows) and I’m listening to Imagine Dragons. This is probably one of my favorite spots to sit… maybe because in this corner I’ve experienced a lot. And for now I’m here, just living the life that I have. 

"Wherever you go, there you are." —-> That seems to make a lot of sense. Simple. Rational. Honest. True. 

To be completely honest, I’d rather be anywhere than in the certain situation I am currently residing in. Not ideal. Not what I imagined. Not what I want. But yet… I am here. And slightly stuck. Limbo sucks. Being patient sucks. Not feeling like you have any control sucks. But all these things are inevitable in life. So I’m learning to deal with this season and accept it for what it is… even when I don’t know what it is exactly.

Currently I’m sitting in my cozy little corner at Crooked Tree (ironically the coffee pictured above is from Oddfellows) and I’m listening to Imagine Dragons. This is probably one of my favorite spots to sit… maybe because in this corner I’ve experienced a lot. And for now I’m here, just living the life that I have. 

06

Jun

Where red meets blue meets green… An ode to public transportation in downtown Dallas. 
It’s funny where and when you find creative inspiration. 
I started off tonight just needing a break, so I decided to get out my paints. At first I was painting a typical rose, but I decided to take a different approach. After checking out an exhibit at Life in Deep Ellum last weekend, I thought I would test out unprimed canvas. And because splatter paint is fun and a good release, that was my chosen method of painting (thank you Mark for the inspiration). 
So after making a mess, I then took some photos and combined that with some typography and a skyline view of downtown. 
If you’ve every ridden the Dart around town, you are probably familiar with the different stations and what color line you need to be on. Anyways, I thought the combination of the colors was a good representation of where the Red Line, Blue Line & Green Line all meet up in downtown. 
I should have been working on reworking my resume instead of playing tonight, but ultimately, I just want to make art and hopefully someone will recognize that and want to hire me! I’m just trying to stay creative and positive… some days are better than others. We’ll see… I know God has a great sense of humor, so who knows where I’ll end up! 

Where red meets blue meets green… An ode to public transportation in downtown Dallas. 

It’s funny where and when you find creative inspiration. 

I started off tonight just needing a break, so I decided to get out my paints. At first I was painting a typical rose, but I decided to take a different approach. After checking out an exhibit at Life in Deep Ellum last weekend, I thought I would test out unprimed canvas. And because splatter paint is fun and a good release, that was my chosen method of painting (thank you Mark for the inspiration). 

So after making a mess, I then took some photos and combined that with some typography and a skyline view of downtown. 

If you’ve every ridden the Dart around town, you are probably familiar with the different stations and what color line you need to be on. Anyways, I thought the combination of the colors was a good representation of where the Red Line, Blue Line & Green Line all meet up in downtown. 

I should have been working on reworking my resume instead of playing tonight, but ultimately, I just want to make art and hopefully someone will recognize that and want to hire me! I’m just trying to stay creative and positive… some days are better than others. We’ll see… I know God has a great sense of humor, so who knows where I’ll end up! 

02

Jun

I’ve been a brief hiatus from my tumblr due to the fact that I just haven’t been feeling very creative over the past 6 weeks due to circumstances called LIFE! Things seem to be slightly a mess right now, in which I say, “C’est la vie!” This has kind of been my saying when things just don’t go the way I planned. Unfortunately, as of lately when I use this phrase, there’s usually tears followed by it because it’s my way of admitting that I feel defeated. But nonetheless, I still love this saying. 
I’ve had a lot of conversations about life lately. So many people have different views. There are the optimists, the pessimists, the realists, the dreamers, the encouragers, the older and wiser adults, the people who give Sunday school answers, and the friends who don’t even say anything, but know exactly what you feel and will cry with you in a back stairwell at church when life gets the best of you. And to all of these people, thank you. Even when I don’t believe what you say or don’t say. Even when your words scare the hell out of me. THANK YOU! I don’t know how some of you put up with me when I have my bad days. You are the people who get me through each moment. 
So I dedicate my little piece of artwork above to all of you. Made with all the creativity that I could somehow find in the midst of feeling talentless, unartistic, and just a hot mess. And such is life… but there’s more to life than a job, a paycheck, a title. There’s still some creativity within me… and I’m going to keep fighting to find it. I may officially be a starving artist now… which is ultimately the idealized dream I had, but it didn’t involve living at home with the parentals, eating Spaghetti O’s daily, and applying to 20+ jobs a day that I find online. Haha! I kinda thought it would involve backpacking across Europe and sketching sunrises and sunsets. Yeah… C’est la vie! 
So on that note… If you need any design work or know of good job leads, think of me! #shamelessselfpromotion 

I’ve been a brief hiatus from my tumblr due to the fact that I just haven’t been feeling very creative over the past 6 weeks due to circumstances called LIFE! 

Things seem to be slightly a mess right now, in which I say, “C’est la vie!” This has kind of been my saying when things just don’t go the way I planned. Unfortunately, as of lately when I use this phrase, there’s usually tears followed by it because it’s my way of admitting that I feel defeated. But nonetheless, I still love this saying. 

I’ve had a lot of conversations about life lately. So many people have different views. There are the optimists, the pessimists, the realists, the dreamers, the encouragers, the older and wiser adults, the people who give Sunday school answers, and the friends who don’t even say anything, but know exactly what you feel and will cry with you in a back stairwell at church when life gets the best of you. And to all of these people, thank you. Even when I don’t believe what you say or don’t say. Even when your words scare the hell out of me. THANK YOU! I don’t know how some of you put up with me when I have my bad days. You are the people who get me through each moment. 

So I dedicate my little piece of artwork above to all of you. Made with all the creativity that I could somehow find in the midst of feeling talentless, unartistic, and just a hot mess. And such is life… but there’s more to life than a job, a paycheck, a title. There’s still some creativity within me… and I’m going to keep fighting to find it. I may officially be a starving artist now… which is ultimately the idealized dream I had, but it didn’t involve living at home with the parentals, eating Spaghetti O’s daily, and applying to 20+ jobs a day that I find online. Haha! I kinda thought it would involve backpacking across Europe and sketching sunrises and sunsets. Yeah… C’est la vie! 

So on that note… If you need any design work or know of good job leads, think of me! #shamelessselfpromotion 

11

Apr

Happy National Sibling Day!!!!
To my brothers and my sister, thanks for always loving me and taking extra good care of me through out the years! I love y’all! 
I wasn’t their sister by birth, but that doesn’t change anything at all. I think we all often forget I am adopted, which is funny, but true. I can’t imagine any other life or growing up any other way. Our house was always crazy and entertaining for the most part. So as I continue this process of becoming an adult, I’m glad I can always look to the three of them for advice, encouragement, and love along the way. They’ve always been pretty good at paving the way for me. I guess no matter how old I get, I will always be their baby sister :) (Photo taken in Cozymel for Amy and Jeremy’s wedding 2008)  (Side note: I’m totally slacking on my posts… I’m not sure where all my time goes these days.)  

Happy National Sibling Day!!!!

To my brothers and my sister, thanks for always loving me and taking extra good care of me through out the years! I love y’all! 

I wasn’t their sister by birth, but that doesn’t change anything at all. I think we all often forget I am adopted, which is funny, but true. I can’t imagine any other life or growing up any other way. Our house was always crazy and entertaining for the most part.

So as I continue this process of becoming an adult, I’m glad I can always look to the three of them for advice, encouragement, and love along the way. They’ve always been pretty good at paving the way for me. I guess no matter how old I get, I will always be their baby sister :) 

(Photo taken in Cozymel for Amy and Jeremy’s wedding 2008)  

(Side note: I’m totally slacking on my posts… I’m not sure where all my time goes these days.)  

26

Mar

Drink Coffee Drink Whiskey

I got to share my love of Whiskey Cake with fellow blogger, food enthusiast, and friend, Sam a few weeks ago! And she totally gave me a shout out in her post! I feel honored!

So now I’m going to return the favor! Check out the link to her awesome blog, Drink Coffee Drink Whiskey! Thanks to Sam, I got some good nomming in this weekend at Cane Rosso and Truckstock 2012… and we also got to dress up like UPTOWN GIRLS! 

Side note 1: I’m slightly considering turning this into a food/design blog. We shall see! (a note on that side note, Mark and I ate lunch this weekend at a new place called Chicken Scratch. It was legit fried chicken! The atmosphere was awesome! So as usual, thank you Mark for sharing your love/knowledge of food with me! (He adds more than just food to my life… I think I’m going to keep him around for a bit! He’s AWESOME!)) 

Side note 2: My SXSW post will be posted this week! However, if you’re my friend on facebook, then you’ve already seen all the photos, so you may not be too excited. And my apologies for not live-tumbling the events of SXSW. WIFI hot spots… not so hot, and my battery on my phone was being salvaged for twitter. 

21

Mar

Workaholics Anonymous…

If you just look at my day job, you probably wouldn’t consider me a workaholic. However, for the past year, I’ve been freelancing any type of odd design/art jobs that I get referred to. Seriously… from making an 80 page study guide to even doing bulletin boards for teachers at my mother’s school. I’m just the type of person who will say YES to anything because 1. I always need the money 2. I need to be working. 

Therefore… I have slightly become a workaholic. I cannot be idle. I’m sure there is a balance that I need to find. Especially when it comes to being able to say no to projects that I should not take on, whether that means it’s not worth my time or if it isn’t something I truly believe in.

I don’t technically think I could ever be a full time freelance graphic artist… that slightly scares me to death. However, I never want to be stuck in the corporate world. There are so many things that I’m trying to figure out at this point in my life. I do believe it’s important to not quit my day job just because the artist in me wants more… and I think it’s important to have side projects that keep you on your toes. Together they create just the right combination of perseverance and humility. 

And to be honest, the more I learn of other artists and designers… their dreams are not fueled by success or money. That is something I need to remember. Those things should never be what define me as a person… or anyone else. There is so much more to life than work. I have this friend, and when people ask him what he does, he hates responding with his job. It makes me laugh, but I think he makes an extremely valid point. I’m thankful for people like him in my life who see things in a way that make me re-evaluate where my priorities truly are. Some things he said to me this past weekend have lingered with me… and honestly, his thoughts were simple and refreshing. I don’t think he even realized the meaning and power behind his words. I should probably tell him thank you… 

With all this said, I’m trying to find a good balance with everything in my life. Working hard, but always making time for fun and investing in people. And also I’m trying to learn how to take more risks. That idea of the things that scare us the most are usually the most worthwhile seems to be playing on repeat in my head. I may be a ridiculous person… but I tend to play it really safe in life. 

So here was a semi-rant, but after a trip to Austin, a few different conversations with some wise/encouraging people, trying to survive at work and get freelance projects out the door… I’m just slightly all over the place. I feel like I need to throw some paint around… 

 

(The flower I painted on the side of a wall in Austin… it always feels good to be a little spontaneous and get some paint on my hands. I think I needed it.) 

How do you find balance between working a day job and doing the things you love? I could use some help…